August 11, 2008
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I tried to be perfect,
But nothing was worth it,
I don’t believe it makes me real.
I thought it’d be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said.
[Chorus]
If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know,
That I’m better off on my own.
This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting,
I don’t know how it got so bad.
Sometimes it’s so crazy,
That nothing can save me,
But it’s the only thing that I have.
[Chorus]
I tried to be perfect,
It just wasn’t worth it,
Nothing could ever be so wrong.
It’s hard to believe me,
It never gets easy,
I guess I knew that all along.
I remember listening to this song over and over again as I thought of you and the others who stopped believing in me. This time around, you came back again and no matter how much I try to fit in, I’ll never be good enough for you. It’s not that I care but it hurts me too thinking that I can’t be part of your life like I used to when I was 13. I may have changed but so have you. I’m not perfect, nobody is. What I just want you to know is that I am always your niece even if you hate me so. Today is the 11th of August, a year since I threw my life away. Yes, I still remember it clearly but I don’t want to say anymore about it. I have learned to pick up those fragments of my life but even though I have, I am still as fragile as before. I do not want your pity nor attention but being accepted as part of the family is all I ask for now.
