Dropped by KLCC for last minute shopping before my flight home tomorrow. Despite of my psychological fear of gaining weight, I have a feeling that I'm starting to gain extra pounds today for consuming two slices of kaya toast for breakfast, a red bean ice-cream for teatime, a bowl of porridge and some 'yong tau foo' for lunch and a bowl of assam laksa for dinner! Yeah, I know I shouldn't get overboard with my meals but these are some of the sumptious Malaysian food that I would not get a chance to consume in the next 10 months at Melbourne. I just got to make sure that I start controling my food intake again (well, not as strict as before...) upon touchdown tomorrow night.

Oh yeah, before I end this entry, I got pretty excited today when I managed to purchase a Doris Day album which I had been looking for months =D I'm currently ripping this album to my iPod...Lol! Alright, guess I'll end here for now since I got to wake up at 5 am tomorrow. Don't want to be left behind on my first trip alone!

*MyRa*  

I've packed up most of my things for tomorrow's flight back to Melbourne. This will be my first time traveling alone on the plane and to be honest, I am actually feeling anxious about how things are going to be tomorrow. Will I board the wrong train to the boarding hall? Where should I collect my baggages? Will I be able to detect my luggages correctly? Will the Australian customs stop and traumatize me just like what they did last year when I brought over some facial cleanser which they thought was contaminated but was wrong about it?

I just can't wait for tomorrow to pass me by. Not that I'm really eager to go back to continue my course, leaving my beloved family behind at Kuala Lumpur. I just feel that Australian customs can get a little too strict at times, worse than many countries that I've traveled before with my family and friends. Yes, it is good to be strict with travellers to maintain the country in an orderly manner but don't they realised that they're traumatizing innocent travellers like me who were picked on before?

*MyRa*  

So I'm getting my hair permed at Kimarie's right now and surfing the net here...

...Well, obviously, there's nothing better to do on the net but to xanga

About my eating disorder, I've decided to join a support forum right now instead of going to a therapist. Hopefully that would be sufficient for now.

A concerned friend of mine recently emailed me an article on eating disorders. At first glance, I wondered why are there concerns about this article over me, but after a thorough read-through, I realised that I was and still am, suffering from some eating disorder . These are a few symptoms being shown in the article which I could relate to:

1. Dramatic weight loss in a relatively short period of time (Well, it took me almost a year to tone down but 
    according to my family and friends, this to them was a short period of time).

2. Obsession with weight and complaining of weight problems, even if "average" weight or thin (Okay, I've always bugged my sis or bro on my weight issues...I can never be satisfied with my weight).

3. Obsession with calories and fat content of foods (I always count calories and fat content of foods before consuming).

4. Obsession with continuous exercise ( I do rigorous workouts an hour everyday).

5. Visible food restriction (Yep, there's no such thing as fast food and soft drinks for me).

6. Pre-occupied thoughts of food, weight and cooking (Sadly, that is true to me...).

7. Self-defeating statements after food consumption (Guilt often takes over me after I consume something of a higher calorie count).

8. Hair loss (I didn't know that could happen but it's the truth for me).

9. Dizziness and headaches (I do get dizzy spells more often recently).

10. Low self-esteem. Feeling worthless. Often putting themselves down and complaining of being "too stupid" or "too fat" and saying they don't matter. Need for acceptance and approval from others (Okay, I never thought that this could be a symptom of an eating disorder and I've always put myself down).

11. Complaints of often feeling cold (I do all the time). 

12. Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue (That's me, alright). 

All I can say after reading this article is that I'm surprised on how many symptoms could match-up with me. My BMI is still in a healthy range now but I guess I'll have to start thinking about my road to recovery before it's too late...Are you with me?

Happy V-Day, y'all!

May this V-Day be the beginning of many happy returns =)

Received an early Valentine's gift from Jon today ^_^

A cute, cuddly bear and a really sweet card =D

Aww...Isn't it adorable? Kind of reminds of someone I know:-p

   The outerior and interior look of the card he sent me ^_^

Thanks a lot for sending over the teddy bear and card to me all the way from U.K. I really like them very much, but most of all, I cherish having you around always, Jon

*MyRa*

My stay in Malaysia has been extended from 14th February to 17th of February =D

This means 3 extra days to spend with my family ^_^

*MyRa*

As weeks pass me by...
...So has the enthusiasm I once had for everything around me take a plunge